, by Vardour Co., 9 min reading time

There are countless magazines and blogs out there that give us tips on how to spice up our partnered sex lives, but what about all the sex we’re having with ourselves?

That’s right: our masturbation routines can get a little dull too! We are all guilty of falling into a sexual rut with ourselves at some point. We know exactly what to do, when to do it and how to sprint to the finish line in the shortest amount of time possible. If this sounds like you, congrats, you’re normal!

But when we get too used to just one way of touching ourselves, and stop exploring our own bodies, we are depriving ourselves (unnecessarily) of a whole world of sexual pleasure. If your masturbation routine isn’t as thrilling as you might like it to be, don’t worry! We got you covered, Friend.


The most common pitfall folks tend to fall into when it comes to a dull masturbation routine is the tendency to head straight for your genitals.

Foreplay is SO important when it comes to partnered play, so why are we depriving ourselves of that anticipation and build up during solo fun?

So, let’s break the rut by really putting in some effort setting the scene for ourselves. Solo foreplay is the best way to spice things up with yourself and can help bring on stronger, more intense orgasms!


  • Dim those lights, throw on some sexy tunes and practice your seductive dancing in the mirror
  • Watch a film that has your favorite raunchy scene in and start touching yourself all over (NO genitals at this stage!)
  • Dress up just for you! Sexy gear like faux leather, laced lingerie, harnesses, ropes, etc. can be incredibly sensational! These different sensations next to your skin play a huge part in setting the scene for yourself and help you to get “in the zone”

Erogenous zones can be found all over our bodies and are personal to each of us. The great thing is that we all have more than one erogenous zone, and these can be self-stimulated in loads of different ways such as stroking, pinching, nibbling, grabbing, massaging. So have fun finding all your personal erogenous zones (this will also help you when it comes to showing a partner where you love to be touched!)

Using your *washed* hands, start with your face and work your way all the way down your body to your feet. Make sure to pay special attention to your nipples, earlobes, play hips, inner thighs and behind your knees.


Have you had something on your mind for a while that you’ve been wanting to try, or find sexy, that you haven’t tried yet with a partner? Practice getting in the headspace to explore this new fantasy and see how your body responds. Visualization, when you create the scene in your imagination and then carry out your fantasy, is a great way to explore new kinks in the safety of your own company.

Try watching a film that portrays a new fantasy or reading/listening to erotic fiction. Something different to what you’ve tried before.

If you haven’t yet tried one of these ways of getting yourself in the zone, then even better! This practice is all about trying new things. So, if you have only ever relied on your imagination to get excited, definitely give another one of your senses a try. Our mental stimulation is just as important as our physical!


Seducing ourselves may be one way to switch it up, but we can also switch up the way we stimulate our genitals. Once we find the magic formula of how to cum easily, we may stick with this formula forever.

This is a pretty double-edged sword if you ask me! On the one hand, we are guaranteed a good time, but on the other hand, we may become reliant on one particular kind of stimulus and then find it harder to be turned on by anything else. This would be a tragedy.

After all, your sex life is a buffet: are you really only going to want to eat one dish for the rest of your life…?


Pleasure products and toys are not meant to replace an experience but augment it. This could be revolutionary in discovering different peaks of your pleasure and seeing just how far your arousal can take you. Toys are also a healthy option for folks who have a hard time feeling arousal or achieving climax from hands alone. There is nothing wrong with using tools to give you the best possible experience. Here are some awesome Je Joue toys to try for all kinds of stimulation.

  •  Clitoral Stimulation: Mimi Soft Clitoral Vibrator covers the full vulva, providing both external and internal clitoral stimulation. Clitorally-mindblowing! (Also great for nipple and head of penis stimulation)
  •  G-Spot Stimulation: My favorite is the G-Kii, which also bends around for external stimulation. The best for 2 in 1 dual stimulation!
  •  Penis Stimulation: Try a cock ring for retention of blood flow and heightened sensation, like the Mio Vibrating Cock Ring! Also great for pairing with a dildo for our vulva-owning friends.
  •  Anal Stimulation: Nuo, Nuo, and More Nuo! Vibrating bliss for booty and P-Spot fun.


Like I said above, sticking to one form of stimulation can sometimes make it difficult to get aroused from others. I like to cycle my forms of pleasure: one day I’ll do a vibrating toy, one day I’ll do a non-vibrating toy, and the next I will use only my hands. When I have time, I do all 3 in one sitting!


Always masturbate in the same position? Say, laying down on your back? Just like getting used to one toy, we can actually get used to only being aroused while in one position. Training our bodies to relax and receive arousal from a variety of positions not only mixes up our masturbation routine but will also benefit our partnered play. Try getting on all 4’s, standing up, or sitting at an angle, or even laying on your stomach. You’ll be surprised how the same stimulation may feel very different from different positions…


We’ve covered erogenous zones and mixing up how you touch your genitals, now put the equation together! Stimulating multiple points in your body may sound like a multitasking marathon, but it’s totally doable.

The labia minora, labia majora, head of penis, testicles, and perineum are all super sensitive and deserve your attention too. Using a Classic Bullet Vibrator, try:

  • Running the bullet vibe against the head of your penis as you stroke your shaft
  • Stimulating your vulva by making a circular motion around your labia majora, moving into your labia minora
  • Gently rimming your anus and perineum while touching yourself.


Try a butt plug while you masturbate or use your fingers for anal stimulation and prostate stimulation. A plug like the Nuo Vibrating Butt Plug puts gentle pressure on the prostate for our penis owning friends, and puts pressure on the g-spot, or internal clitoris, for our vulva owning friends. Both of these added forms of pressure heighten our genital arousal by encouraging our pelvic floor muscle to contract, thus leading to more intense orgasms.

If interested in trying a prostate massage for yourself, here is my earlier blog on finding your P-Spot Bliss.


When using our hands or toys we may, once again, be used to only focusing on our genitals. Make this a full-body experience and put your hips into it! The gentle rocking of the hips while masturbating helps activate our pelvic floor muscles, which contribute highly to our overall arousal (blood flow to genitals, especially).

Moving our whole body while we masturbate also energizes us from head to toe, which increases the intensity of our state of arousal.

So instead of lying back and patiently waiting for arousal to take over, try rocking your hips back & forth while pleasuring yourself with your hand or toy, and gently squeezing your PC muscles as you come forwards. If you’re familiar with Kegels, it’s this action you want to engage as you push your hips forward. (This move will also feel AMAZING for any penis-owner you may choose to share this with…)

Don’t be afraid to grind up against your toy, or a comfortable surface such as a pillow with these same motions. You may find that your arousal feels more intense, your climax may be longer, or even that your stamina is lengthened.

The speed at which we masturbate can also make a huge difference to our experience. If you normally like to stroke or rub fast, try slowing down and building up your arousal more gradually. This can be a great opportunity to practice edging your climax. If you like going slow, try doing intervals: stroke/rub slow, speed up for a bit, then go back to slow.

Tease yourself. Keep yourself on your toes. Prolonging the build-up means a more explosive climax!


Yes, you are allowed to make noise! Put it this way: have you ever watched a film without the sound on and it just wasn’t the same? Well, It’s the same when it comes to masturbating. If we can’t help but make noise during partnered play, why do we restrict ourselves when we’re alone? Just like the rocking of your hips, making noise actually helps us to get turned on. While practicing light forms of breathwork, we are surrendering completely to our emotions and the sensations of our bodies. Holding back is the enemy of pleasure, so let go and surrender yourself to your own sensations.

I understand many of you may live with roommates, so take advantage of the time that you may have alone for this. If alone time isn’t an option, consider turning on some music to mask your noises.

You deserve to be Loud. You deserve to be Proud.


Julieta is a badass sex blogger and femxle empowerment activist. As a sexually liberated womxn, she dedicates her life and work to normalizing femxle sexuality and empowerment. She is constantly encouraging all those around her to overcome the shame surrounding sexuality, to become more in-tune with their sexual selves and ultimately to Reclaim Their Power.

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